our normal game tends to be full of puns and comedy Our party is made up of a Rouge/Dread Pirate, a Ninja/Chef, an Evil Atheist Cleric, and me, a Sorcerer/Elemental Savant of Fire we're level 11, and it's an aquatic campaign our pirate ship has a literal skeleton crew, raised by the cleric but how can it be atheist and not fall into being an ex-cleric? He believes that all this "God" Nonsense is simply wizards fucking with him so our DM goes out of his way to put a god in our way as often as possible we escaped from We Jas trying to draw us into the negative energy plane and our Ninja carries an artifact of Olidimara that came about in an interesting way We had just defeated a purple worm, and our Ninja asked "What did it drop?", while the Pirate asked "How far to the nearest town?" the DM decided to answer the Pirate's question first, with "It's a walk of about two miles" and our Ninja asks, "A walk of two miles? Really?" "Yes" "Is it always two miles long, or does it expand?" at which point everyone burst out laughing because, as an Asian-based chef, he had heard "walk" as "wok" so he though he was getting a magical wok that could expand up to two miles in diameter at which point we decided this was so awesome that it had to be true so the DM decided that it was an artifact of Olidimara, who loves puns so everytime someone makes a particularly good joke, gold coins with the symbol of Olidimara come raining down and hit the ground, then disappear. This happens at least once a session Then the DM wanted us to move on, so he had it start raining blood. What did we do? Put out buckets. :D which was quite hilarious later when a dragon turtle rammed our boat, the buckets of blood started leaking, and we accused him of attacking our living boat so after we complain at the dragon turtle, he agrees to carry our boat on his back to the nearest island at which point our cleric points out that there should be sharks in the water with all the blood so he sets his skeletons to SHARK FISHING catches two of them, and turns them into ZOMBIE SHARK MOUNTS so we get to the island, and get our boat fixed. Now, we'd heard that some Kua-toa live on this island, and Kua-toa are intensely racist, they hate non-humans other than themselves so since we didn't have a ranger, we had the Sorcerer seach for paths in the woods (you know something's wrong with your game when you've got no melee heavy hitters, and your battlecaster is making tracking rolls) eventually I found a path and the cleric said, "Screw that, we're not walking into a forest ambush", so he stands at the head of the trail, and since we're still covered in the blood rain, shouts, "Man, I'm COVERED in Elf blood! It never really comes out!" at which point an aquatic elf pops up behind us but since bluff is our party's most used skill, we got out of it. (Our cleric has a bag, filled with the holy symbols of every religion, and whenever things start looking bad, he reaches into the bag and goes, "Don't worry! I'm a cleric of... Pelor!") so we get out of that, and find the Kua-Toa, and one of them wants passage on our ship to a certain island. and I, without thinking about it, say "I'm sorry, but that's in the expensive direction. It costs 1.5 times as much to go diagonal as with the gird" so we eventually convince him that it IS the expensive direction, and he offers to pay us in information, up front so he tells us of an island beyond the one he's going to, filled with scary undead and treasure. at which point the cleric says, "are the undead scarier than OUR undead?" which causes the kua-toa to notice the literal skeleton crew XDDD and Kua-Toa are basically frog-people, so the DM does the Kermit the Frog scream and hand-flail thing, and has him jump off of the boat which was AWESOME so the session ends with us sailing off in the most expensive direction, headed for an island full of undead who may or may not be scarier than our undead @turey: LOL mura: Also, you know how there's a couple of lines of the skill list, where you can write in your own skills? yeah well, our Ninja decided to put ranks into "Innuendo" ahahahahahaha so everytime he makes a dirty joke, he has to roll Innuendo, which determines how funny his joke was high means funny, low means crude what has happened when he rolls a 1? so at one point, we were discussing making our ship into an airship AND a submarine and one of us said "That's not possible" and I replied with "Sure it is, there's one in FFIII" of course, since we play in a room full of other nerds, upon heading "Final Fantasy", someone shouted out "AERIS DIES!" and since we had just made the zombie sharks, we countered with "It's ok, our cleric will raise her as a zombie!" at which point the Ninja says, "I call Zombie Aeris as my mount, she'll ride well" ZOMG which of course means "Time for an Innuendo roll!" and he rolls a 1, and we sit there for a second, wondering what's the crudest way possible to phrase that and after a few seconds, I say, "HUR HUR I FUCK UNDEAD AERIS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha which causes us to burst out in laughter * chief1983 has changed the topic to: Welcome to #Hard-Light. | HUR HUR I FUCK UNDEAD AERIS giving him a ..... PFFTTTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THANK YOU CHIEF Welcome :) oh god, my stomach hurts from laughing I almost blew smoothie all over my monitor after reading that